


A Moment Alone

by River_Tiger



Category: The Dark Crystal (1982), The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Mid Canon, Post canon, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 10:43:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20965247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/River_Tiger/pseuds/River_Tiger
Summary: Gurjin is stressed and preparing for war. Who better to help him out than the gelfling he's had a crush on for so long?





	A Moment Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare for tears, lads.

Gurjin’s hair was left stiff after removing the braids that had been there for so long. Hair that had once been straight and neat was now dreaded and braided beyond repair. He could only imagine how long his hair would be if it hadn’t been in this condition.  
The former guard of the Crystal Palace sat cross-legged on the ground against a log. Though given the time to finally settle down because of the respite the Gelfling clans had been given, he was always on edge. There was no telling when the Skeksis would attack once more. Now he could only sharpen the daggers that were too often held in his calloused hands. 

He wasn’t home with the rest of the Drenchen clan, but rather on the outskirts of Stone-in-the-Wood. Despite Stone-in-the-Wood being the home of his best friend, he wasn’t there as often as he should have been. In fact, he hadn’t seen his home and family for years before the Resistance began. Once recruited, all he had to remind him of home was Naia. His sister was always there for him when he felt homesick, as he was for her. 

However, once he arrived at the palace for his training, he didn’t need to be reminded of home. He didn’t need a home. Rian was all the home he needed. Needless to say, as soon as he laid eyes on the much shorter Stonewood Gelfling he was smitten. The first thing he noticed was his intense eyes, how they were sapphire blue with the copper inner ring. He noticed he looked meek and fragile, but during their sparring he took note of how strong he truly was. He noticed how his long hair flowed with the wind unlike his own, and that the almost crystalline strands of hair here and there sparkled in the sunlight. The most important thing he noticed was how caring he was. And that he loved Rian.  
He didn’t want to admit it, but his feelings for his best friend seemed to grow day by day. It grew when they were in training, it hurt when he and Mira got together. It grew with their battles together, it hurt when Rian didn’t see. It hurt when Gurjin sacrificed himself and Rian saw it as loyalty, not love. 

He looked down at the strands of thread in the palms of his hands that once kept his many braids intact. Some were weeks old, some months, and only three a few years. The most recent were done by Rian. He was wearing only his tunic and his only pair of pants, both which were torn and dirty from being away from the castle for so long. He only wished he didn’t have to always be ready for battle. He wished he could go home. He wished he could see his mother and little sisters again. He was almost angry that he was still there. 

Before he could continue his thoughts any further, he heard the sounds of footsteps and the gentle clinking of light metal. He didn’t care who it was. He only laid back against the log behind him. That was, until Rian came into view. He immediately sat up and put on a fake smile to greet his friend.

“What are you doing all the way out here?” Rian questioned. Gurjin chuckled in response. 

“I could say the same for you.” He replied. “What have you been up to then?” Rian sighed and dropped his sword on the ground, moving to sit next to Gurjin. 

“Keeping everyone calm. I’ll tell you, it’s difficult to keep an entire clan ‘calm’ while also preparing for a war.” Gurjin laughed nervously. Rian shifted his weight to lean against the larger gelfling’s shoulder, as he so often did. It felt different this time, though. Instincts told him that something was off. Rian decided to wave it off. 

“You’re doing more than just preparing the Stonewood. You’re preparing an entire race.” Gurjin said, trying to put emphasis on the authority Rian had over the Resistance. 

“True,” Rian started, “But Stone-in-the-Wood is my priority right now.” He had a point. After Maudra Fara’s death, the stonewood clan was left without a leader. He may not be a Maudra, but he had taken her place for now.  
Rian looked off into the distance and thought for a moment. 

“Thank you for staying. I guess you’re stuck here because of me, hm?” Gurjin felt his annoyance at the situation turn into anger. 

“Yes, I am actually.” He snapped. Rian drew away from Gurjin’s arm, baffled by his friend’s sudden shift in mood. 

“Sorry?” He responded sternly. 

“I’m always stuck in places because of you.” Gurjin knew he was going to snap at some point. He loved his best friend with all he had, but there was a spot deep in his mind reserved for resenting him. He didn’t want to admit when he was upset with him. One wrong move could end everything between them. And Rian meant the world to him. He couldn’t lose him. 

“What do you mean?” Rian’s voice sounded like his father’s, stern and demanding. Fit for whoever could be called a captain. Gurjin stood up and began pacing slightly. 

“I’m never going to be where you are. You’re respected, you’re never the butt of a joke.” Rian’s brow furrowed. Where was this coming from?

“Butt of a joke?” Rian snapped back. “Who says you aren’t respected?” Gurjin’s fists clenched as he continued his slow pacing, and his breathing got slightly heavier.

“Basically every gelfling in Thra!” His voice rose. Rian rolled his eyes. 

“You’re the son of a Maudra. At least the Drenchen are obligated to respect you.” 

“That doesn’t count.” 

Rian sighed and crossed his legs, looking down at the ground. 

“I respect you, if that means anything.” He muttered. “You’re my best friend.” Gurjin sighed angrily.

“Sometimes I wonder if that’s really true.” Rian’s eyes widened. 

“Are you serious, Gujin?” Rian’s tone matched with Gurjin’s. “I’ve been with you through everything!” Gurjin whipped his body around to face Rian, who he realized was now standing as well. It didn’t make too much of a difference, however, given their height difference. 

“Then where were you when the Skeksis were tearing me to bits?” Rian looked just as angry. 

“Trying to tell everyone what the skeksis were really doing!” 

“And while you were doing that, I became an example of what they were doing! I was tortured for you!” His voice grew louder and tears were pricking at his eyelids. Rian stepped forward. Oh, Thra, this was it. This was where it all ended.

“Then why did you tell me to run? Why didn’t you tell them where I was?” 

“Because I love you!”

Gurjin didn’t think. He only yelled what he felt, so loud it seemed like all of Thra could hear his confession. It took a few moments for it to set in. For Rian it took a few moments for him to register that his best friend just confessed to him. For Gurjin, it took a few moments for him to realize what he said at all. 

“I-” Rian stammered. The tears fell, and so did Gurjin. Now on his knees, he covered his face and let out a sob. This was all wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Rian was never supposed to know. Gurjin had come to terms with the fact that he would never have him. It didn’t matter if Mira was gone. It didn’t matter that Deet was corrupted. He was meant to be there for Rian through that and now he was making it about him. 

“I’m sorry…” Rian’s face shifted from shock to confusion. 

“For what? You haven’t done anything wrong.” Gurjin sighed and crossed his legs, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“For this. For wanting more than I know I’ll get.” Gurjin admitted. The tears didn’t slow down. He assumed that if Rian had left he would be bawling. But he kept his composure for the most part. Rian was quiet. He didn’t think he had ever seen him cry in all the years he’d known him. And now it was over him? 

His mind was spinning. Did Gurjin actually love him? If he did, how long did he feel this way? Was he fully aware of it? He felt too afraid to ask. He had to make a decision. This was his first time seeing him cry, but he knew he hated it. Rian stepped forward, crouching before Gurjin. As he moved his hands away from his face his blue eyes met with soft gold. 

“What are you doing?” Gurjin’s voice quivered, and was almost too quiet to be heard. Rian’s hand drifted past Gurjin’s hair to rest gently on the back of his neck.  
“Giving you what you want.” He answered just as gently. 

Gurjin felt his heart stop when Rian leaned in, and he felt the world stop when their lips touched. It took a moment of utter shock before his eyes were able to close as he melted into the kiss. Rians lips were surprisingly soft. He felt he was making an embarrassment of himself with how chapped his lips were in comparison. The collision didn’t go any further than it was. But Gurjin didn’t want it to. The gentle lingering kiss was the only thing that felt right at the moment. And yet, it felt so wrong. He wasn’t keeping track of how long it had lasted. He didn’t keep track of his hands either, as he didn’t realize how one had shifted to Rian’s waist and the other to his jaw. It felt like forever, but it was over in just a few seconds. He didn’t want it to be. He wanted to stay like this forever. 

Once Rian pulled away, the world started to move again and he could breathe once more. Rian removed his hand from the back of Gurjin’s neck, and in turn Gurjin’s hands went back to his sides. 

“Why would you do that?” He asked after a moment. Rian sighed. 

“Because I can’t give you much else.” Gurjin didn’t want to know what he meant by that. Part of him already did know, but he didn’t want to think about it. 

“I loved Mira. And now she’s gone.” Rian spoke again. “I moved past her. I love Deet. Now she’s missing and I intend to find her and make sure nothing else happens to her.” Rian moved to place his hands on either side of Gurjin’s face. 

“And you are my best friend. I want to make sure nothing happens to you. I care about you.” He paused. “But I can’t give you what I gave them.” 

And there they were again. The hot stream of tears running down Gurjin’s cheeks. His golden eyes seemed dull in his pain. Why was this happening? Why did he just blurt it out like there would be no consequences? He had come to terms that he would never have Rian like Mira and Deet did, but there was a little piece of him that was holding onto the hope that he would. But now, that little piece of him was being crushed. He never thought he would hear the words of blatant rejection coming from his friend, half a minute after he kissed him. It wasn’t just that little bit of him being destroyed. It felt as if his entire essence was being soiled by pain. It was all going wrong in the ways he hadn’t expected, yet also in the ways he feared. 

“Gurjin?” Rian’s voice broke through his thoughts. He looked worried when Gurjin snapped out of it. “Are you alright?” Gurjin faught himself from saying “No, of course I’m not alright”. Instead, he tried to put on his best fake smile. 

“Yeah. Just a little surprised, is all.” he chuckled. “A kiss was the last thing I expected.” 

“Was it good?” Gurjin shrugged.

“Could have been better.” 

Rian patted him on the shoulder and stood up, straightening the pauldrons on his shoulders. 

“You should forget about this, Gurjin. Maybe then it will hurt a little bit less.” Gurjin watched as Rian walked away back towards the village. 

He had told plenty of lies that day. He lied when he told Naia that he didn’t drop one of their little sisters on the floor before he left home a few days prior. His little sister was laughing when she hit the floor after slipping out of Gurjin’s arms, but when Naia walked into the room she instantly started weeping, obviously for the attention. Every member of his family had pulled that stunt at some point. He lied when he said the kiss could have been better. He had kissed several people over his life, some better than others. Some quite good, actually. But there had been no kiss like Rian’s. He was gentle and it felt kind. It felt like they could be closer, but they could also be so much further apart. He lied when he said he was fine. He was anything but. His heart felt like it was crumbling to pieces, that his mind and body were separated. His mind wanted to scream, but his body remained silent. Silent until the slow sobs began to escape his lips. 

He had been wrong before. He had been right before. But he was no more right at any time in his life than he was at that moment, for as soon as Rian was completely out of sight he buried his face in his hands and began bawling. He nearly screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first DC fic and honestly I kind of hate it. What you y'all think?


End file.
